I was really looking forward to writing a much awaited (on my part at least) blog post about my amazing trip down to Oxford to visit one of my oldest and bestest friends. I was all full of self-praise for surviving a hotel stop over and a six-hour car journey with just me and three-year-old twins! And then this happened. Lock down.
We’re ten days in and I’m already beginning to get an insight into why Britney Spears shaved her head! The only people coming out of this looking half decent live with hairdressers, that’s for sure. And please, by no means think I am I undermining this. The truth is, I’m feeling all shades of messed up because 11 days ago, I received a phone call from my Crohn’s nurse practitioner, telling me that I am a high risk patient and I am not to return to work for 12 weeks. I’m frustrated and angry that I’m not there, on the front line, with my friends and colleagues, doing the job that we love, but in highly dangerous circumstances.
Then I speak to my colleagues in community nursing, and find out that they don’t have any PPE (personal protective equipment). They are visiting patients in their own homes and care home residents with no protection whatsoever. Then they go home to their families after their shift not knowing if they are carrying this deadly virus. That’s horrifying.
So, now, when I’m at home, just me and my boys, surveying the devastation that is my living room, screeching my head off for the fifty-fifth time in an hour, I stop; and think about them, my colleagues. I stop moaning that I am ‘stuck’ at home. And realise that I am ‘safe’ at home. I am keeping my family safe by not becoming ill myself. To me it feels incredibly selfish, and not something I am used to.
Now, being in lock down is bringing a lot of new things into our lives. Like Joe Wicks and his bloody PE for kids. Are you fricking kidding me? Can’t believe we’ve actually subscribed to his bloody channel. The kids are knackered after two minutes. My husband and I get through the whole episode but neither of us can move without groaning for two days afterwards!?! We take a photo and send it in to the boy’s nursery teachers, make it look like we’re getting into this whole embracing our child’s health at home bollocks. When really, we’re all sitting in our chairs eating recovery ice-cream and planning what pizza to eat for tea!!!! Cosmic bloody yoga never even got a look in. By that time of the afternoon, the twins are running around the house, half naked, covered in felt tip pens because, ‘I’m a tiger mummy’ and smacking each other with cricket bats!
For the first time ever, I’m not lying when I tell them the park is closed. And the swimming pool. And the library. And the soft play. It’s horrible when they ask about their friends. I’ve not actually given them an answer as to why they can’t see them. Partly because I want so badly to see my friends and family too. So, they are getting quite good at video calling. When I say quite good, I mean bloody awful. Yesterday Harry wanted to call grandma and just spent the whole time with his bum in front of the camera making farting noises. Charming. But at least he had pants on this time!!
I’ve downloaded Tik Tok and Houseparty. Not used Houseparty yet but I’m sure after a few wines I will!!!! Loving Tik Tok, but spend the whole time insanely jealous at all the people that are able to do these dances!! I tried to do the stair challenge one yesterday, but thanks to Joe bloody Wicks, I was unable to jump the dizzying height of one whole stair without my legs feeling like they were on fire. Think I’ll save that for week 6 of lockdown. Will be something to look forward to!!!
Decided this morning that I need to start creating some structure into our days. So, I sorted through the mound of colouring books, sticker books, pencils and crayons, got out the Usborne pre-school learning packs, and thought, I’ll teach the boys to write. We can have lessons in the morning!? Well, clearly, they are not ready for that yet, and neither am I; so, colouring in it was. We made some rainbows to stick up in the windows, again, took some photos to make it look like we are pro-actively participating in nationwide activities and enjoying ourselves during lockdown. When what I’m really thinking about is when it’s acceptable to open the bottle of red wine I’ve been eyeing up since breakfast?
So, during this surreal and scary time, the experts of social media tell us that this is a time of meditation and contemplation. A time to slow down. As I have about 45 seconds a day to enjoy quiet contemplation, these are the things I have learned so far:
If I had any doubt about growing out my pixie cut, that decision has now been taken out of my hands. Bring on the bowl cut!!
My husband has to get fitted for PPE, meaning he has to shave off his (in my opinion) hideous beard. Six months of nagging has gotten me nowhere, but this, this is marvellous.
I am so unfit.
I do not have the self-discipline for home exercise.
If my kids continue baking at the rate they are going, I am about four weeks away from obesity and/or type 2 diabetes.
I wasn’t aware how much I relied on going to work, seeing my friends and family, and the boys going to nursery for my sanity.
If they spend enough time cooped up indoors, my kids will go for a walk in the rain!! And enjoy it!
I know that everyone will be affected by this epidemic and everyone will come out of it a different person. I can’t wait to give people a hug again. I can’t wait to walk down the road again without calculating your route like Robocop. I can’t wait for my kids to be able to see their friends again and just be able to run and touch whatever they want. I can’t wait for the new normal.
Please all stay safe and look after each other from a distance. Remember, a friend somewhere is googling how to cut their own hair, and may just need your help.